brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
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