i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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