I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
