make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize