hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
