For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
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