***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
is wine microwaveable?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
