Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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