What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
