dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
did i just pee glitter
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
