I am spending my child support on dildos
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
