Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
