you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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