he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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