I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
