Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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