I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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