i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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