I want to stick my p in your. b.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
