He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
did i just pee glitter
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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