The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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