I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
