just survived the first fart of the relationship.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
