dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
