youre lurking in front of me
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
