I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
