Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
