Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
