Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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