Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
