you're like a bully in the Christmas story
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
