He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
