just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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