I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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