Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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