My brain says no but my pants say off.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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