so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
