Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
