My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
