Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
