Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Just high enough for therapy.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
