to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
