Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
