quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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