hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
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