we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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