Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
