this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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