the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize