I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
ttyl tear gas
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
