is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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