I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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