So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
