if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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