i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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