ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
