Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
