I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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