found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
