Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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