he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
